Thursday, July 8, 2010


I search for words that will not sting.
A memory in time that is not bitter.
Why is my soul so despairing?
My life has not ended, its beginning

Why do I not, grasp this gift?
Learn to live an honest existence.
Settle down have a few kids,
Get that white picket fence and....

Live life again.
Oh wait, I had all that,
I let it go for alcohol and pills.
I lived vicariously through others.

Allowed them to abuse me,
Sought their approval.
I lived shamelessly,
Unwilling to change,

Until I was an imitation of me.
Until I was insane.
I’m back again,
Slowly turning pages of time.

I will write out my contempt,
In aged, perfection,
A writer’s rejection, of self obsession

Copywrite Melanie Rae 2010


  1. Melanie Rae, Your poem broke my heart as I read it and I grieved for the loss of a glorious life you could have led. At times we all make the wrong choice in life and we dearly pay for them with our lives. I hope and wish you happiness as you have chosen to make the right choices for yourself. Your picture doesn't look too old to start over and live life like you pictured it. You are a very good poet. Good luck to you my friend.
    Tamm (Tamara Lesley)
    Author of: A Chosen Journey (novel that you would enjoy) please browse through it at: Click on books, type in 'A Chosen Journey' and then click on the book.

  2. your story is so heartfelt and touch my heart deeply, I can in this relate to some of what you went through, for my life cannot exist without the pain meds I am on. without them I would not be able to move, so you could say they control my life. blessings to you dear for brighter days
    love asha

  3. Mel,your words moved me to tears.But they were tears of sadness and happiness.You've endured so much in your life yet you still fight for a better one. That's what makes you so special!
    I'm proud of you my soul sister. xoxo <3 Mary A